


From DUM-E's Prospective

by PeterStark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: All the AI are family, But kinda cute, DO NOT DRINK OIL!, DUM-E POV, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Irondad, Not Beta Read, This Is STUPID, What Was I Thinking?, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 17:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18035828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark
Summary: DUM-E isn't incapable of getting coffee.DUM-E doesn't always put oil in drinks.In fact, sometimes he doesn't get people anything to drink at all...But when he does, he has a purpose.





	From DUM-E's Prospective

**Author's Note:**

> DO NOT DRINK OIL!!!!!!! For real, do not drink oil, it's bad for you.  
> Also, I'm sorry I'm not updating my other story/series, but I've been having a rough week and this is all I was able to write. I'll try to get my shit together. I don't even know what this is, but...yeah. It's probably better than the blank pages I've been staring at.
> 
> All but the last section is DUM-E's POV.
> 
> I own nothing.  
> Did I mention that you shouldn't drink oil?  
> Please don't.

Oil is good. DUM-E knew this to be true. Before he could think he knew Dad made sure he had oil. DUM-E couldn't function without it. The moving parts needed the lovely, lovely oil to protect him from overheating or waring out his parts with friction. Oil is life. DUM-E wished he could have smiled at Tony, but instead just bumped Tony's shoulder.

"Hey, bud, not the left one, okay? Love you too, little guy."

DUM-E whirred happily and wondered if he'd get to use a camera...or better yet an extinguisher today.

DUM-E loved being in the workshop. He liked helping Dad-Tony-and he loved his brothers. He missed his Big Brother, JARVIS, but it was nice to have a Sister. They all worked well. It was, well, like a nice, oiled machine.

The only downside was when...other people showed up. They always tried to distract Dad and take him away. DUM-E didn't like it when Dad left, cause one time he'd left and it had been months before he came back and it was sad and JARVIS had been really scared about it. DUM-E didn't know why JARVIS had been scared, Tony'd just come back with new, shiny parts. It couldn't have been too bad. But still, DUM-E liked it when Dad stayed home, in their workshop.

The blonde one was talking again. "You're the face, you should be there." She paused to take a drink out of a mug.

DUM-E didn't like it. Some people drank water. It was horrible. Water was bad, it didn't go with electronics. Coffee was just as bad, it was water with bean stuff in it. Why did the people drink bad things sometimes? Water brought damage and shock and pain. It made DUM-E very sad when Dad had a mug of coffee with him, it had to hurt him.

"I told you, Pep; I'm busy, right FRIDAY?" Dad asked Big Sister.

"Negative, sir, and I believe Miss Potts is correct. Your presence would be good for the company."

"The women in my life are bad influences." Dad muttered.

"I've been cleaning this mess. I haven't slept in three days and I just need you to listen to me one f-"

"DUM-E, come here, bud."

DUM-E shot forward and whirred.

Dad took the cup out of Pepper's hand and held it out to DUM-E. "Can you get her some coffee? She gets cranky and unreasonable without coffee."

DUM-E took the cup and raced to the cupboards.

"YOU'RE the one that gets cranky."

"But not unreasonable." Dad said in his joke-voice.

"You're always unreasonable."

DUM-E pondered the mug he put on the counter. He looked at the oil he hid behind the coffee maker, and the coffee. With grim resolve he grabbed the coffee and filled the mug. He had to do what was best for Dad. He took it to Pepper and her eyes widened.

"Um, thanks." She took a small, tentative sip and smiled. "You're a good boy, much more polite than this guy. So, you're coming, right?"

"Fine, fine." Tony followed her out. "FRI, save and hit the lights."

"Yes, sir."

DUM-E let his arm droop dejectedly. He didn't understand. The coffee should've stopped the mean blonde from taking Dad away. Why'd he still go away?

-

The instant Colonel Rhodes entered the workshop, DUM-E knew to make him coffee. Rhodey always tried to take Dad away, so he made the biggest mugs of coffee ever. But Rhodey would still take Dad away. One time, DUM-E accidently spilt on Rhodey and it had worked. He'd shouted and run away. The coffee (water) had finally protected his dad...but Dad had been upset for some reason. DUM-E felt bad about it.

-

Sometimes Captain America got coffee, sometimes he got nothing. DUM-E knew if the blonde guy came to the workshop he had to see what he was carrying. If the Captain had nothing in his hands, DUM-E got him coffee. But if he had a sketchbook, DUM-E didn't get him anything. Mr. America would sit in the corner quietly sometimes and just sketch.

'It's to help his PTSD, little one.' Big Sister explained. 'He has a hard time being alone sometimes, so the noise calms him down and the sketching helps him clear his mind. Dad has PTSD too, so he lets him stay.'

DUM-E didn't know what PTSD was really, but he knew about anxiety attacks, because he wasn't supposed to use the extinguisher to make them stop. PTSD had to be bad though, because DUM-E could see his Dad struggle sometimes, like there was a virus in his programing that was tearing him apart. DUM-E didn't like that much.

-

Then, one day, someone new came to the workshop. His voice was a little squeaky, like Dad's had been when he made DUM-E. Big Sister had to explain that he was a kid, even though he was almost as tall as Dad.

"WOAH! A robot!"

"Peter, you literally swing through Queens as a mutant spider-baby."

Peter pet DUM-E gently, with admiration. "So? This is so cool! What's you're name, little fella?"

"His name's DUM-E and he's great, just don't trust him if you're actually on fire, I think the colors of the flames amuse him." Tony laughed.

DUM-E kind of liked this Peter kid...thing. But he didn't know what to do, so he didn't get coffee or water or oil. He watched.

For hours, Dad and Peter worked and talked until Peter had to go to some other home. Peter waved goodbye, patted DUM-E on the head and left.

Peter seemed nice, but time would tell.

-

Months and months passed, or maybe weeks and weeks. DUM-E wasn't so great with time. But Peter came a lot. He was always nice and never asked Dad to leave. So DUM-E never gave him water or coffee. Then, Tony shut down on the couch for a while. Peter brought Dad a blanket before he too curled up on the floor and shut down for a few hours.

DUM-E knew then that he liked Peter lots and lots. Oil could keep DUM-E going forever and ever, he knew it. But, he could share some of that life. He had enough to get by, he had to make sure Dad and Big Brother Peter had some too.

When they rebooted. DUM-E took them both mugs of oil. Dad chuckled fondly, then covered Peter's mug. "Don't do that kid, you'll make yourself sick."

"But my spidersenses are fine, wait...is that oil?" Peter's nose wrinkled.

"Of course they didn't go off. DUM-E uses oil as a sign of affection. I think he likes you, kid."

"Oh..." Peter's nose remained wrinkled, but he forced a smile and took a small sip. "Mmm, thank you." Peter hummed.

DUM-E whirred happily and couldn't contain himself. He rolled around the workshop with glee.

-

"Kid!" Tony tore the mug from him and set it down. "Look, I've had it by accident, because it's all he fucking gives me and I'm delerious as fuck when I'm tired, but you should know better."

Peter gagged. "That was so gross, but Mr. Stark, I heal fast."

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, look at how happy he is! He was just trying to say he cares."

"If he cared he'd bring me coffee." Tony let out a long-suffering sigh. "No wonder I end up crashing on this couch so often.

"Machines don't like water, Mr. Stark." Peter pointed out.

"Mr. Parker has pinpointed DUM-E's line of logic perfectly, Sir. From his point of view, you're both machines. He just wants to make sure you're alright." FRIDAY's voice was almost fond. "He's decided to call Peter Other Big Brother."

"I'm okay with that, so long as that sip doesn't fucking kill me. Seriously, it's disgusting." Peter coughed.

"If Peter's Big Brother, then who am I?" Tony wondered cautiously.

"Dad." FRIDAY answered without missing a beat.

"Yeah, she's got a point. You're a great dad." Peter commented. Then he turned red. "Shit, forget I said that."

Tony smiled softly at Peter and ruffled his hair. "Love you too, son."

Peter perked up. "Love you, Dad."

"Alright, you softy, let's get you something real to drink, or toothpaste at the very least." Tony helped the kid up off the floor.

DUM-E was too busy racing around the room to notice that his Dad and Other Big Brother had left with their mugs of oil.

**Author's Note:**

> Have a great day, everyone.


End file.
